Goodbyes and coming home

Leaving Kenya was bittersweet. My last day with the girls we had a big dance party (cake included)! We dancing to all their favorite songs, took pictures and talked about first impressions. The end of the day was a bunch of group hugs.... there would be one group hug, then I'd take a couple steps and there would be another group hug etc. It was fun, but sad to say goodbye.

At the office goodbyes were not allowed, just see you laters. Hopefully some of the staff will visit the states soon and I will see them again.

My hardest goodbye was to one of my favorite girls (Khadija). I went to her school the day I was leaving and took my friend Caro with me to translate. I told her I was leaving, but that I would miss her and we could write to each other. I also told her to tell me if she needed anything and I would do my best to help her. I hugged her again, and walked away with Caro. I was immediately in tears because in reality I will probably never see her again. As Caro and I went separate ways, Khadija called my name. I turned around and went back to hug her one more time. She saw my face reddened by crying, and tears rolled down her cheeks.

I have been wanting to come home for so long, but it is as bazaar as seeing Africa for the first time. On the plane, I got to the point I couldn't even predict which meal would be next. I would be finishing wine from dinner and down the aisle would come... breakfast? In a blur of 20 minute sleep cycles, movies, airplane food and time being turned upside down the 24 hours of traveling will make you delirious. When we arrived in London for our first layover, I teared up seeing flashy cars to be won, Prada, Giavanchy, and chandeliers. How baazar to go from Nairobi to London. All I could think was how Khadija would never see this, nor could I ever explain it to her.

I am now home and nearly settled in my new house in Carrboro, NC. I have been meeting up with old friends, unpacking, washing, and eating lots of grits :) I walked by my neighbor who was gardening a few days ago and said 'good morning'. She looked up grinning and greeted me with the sweet southern love that I have missed so dearly in Kenya. I am still trying to adjust to the culture; I feel edgy and nervous and need some time to realize that I can let me guard down a bit. School starts next week, but in the meanwhile I am working with Transfer student orientation and mingling with new transfers (one of my all time favorite things to do). I am having meetings and running around in the hustle bustle of back to school at chapel hill, which I love. It is good to be home.

It has been an incredible experience that I am grateful for, however I felt pushed and challenged in a way I haven't been before. I think I have experienced every emotion under the sun, and it'll be a long while before I fully understand the impact they have made on me. While I was enlightened and impassioned in Kenya, I was also confused, enraged, and broken. Now its a matter of rebuilding: picking up the fragmented pieces and figuring out how to make myself new again.


Thank you for your comments, feedback, support and love.

all of me-

alisa